


Never Enough

by YourLocalTheaterKid



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: First Kiss, I lost motivation I'm sorry, IDK I just wanted to post something, Love Confessions, M/M, Not really finished???, Simon wants to be friends, SnowBaz, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow, Yes I tagged it SnowBaz, uhhhhhhh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-27 03:04:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20941235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourLocalTheaterKid/pseuds/YourLocalTheaterKid
Summary: After some sort of thing happened, Simon wants to be friends. But Baz doesn't, because it'll never be enough.Not really finished... I just wanted to post something. Also, I lost motivation half-way through, so sorry if it's real bad.Rating T for swearing. If I add more chapters, there'll prolly be some making out.





	Never Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Hellooooo. I apologize for this disaster of a fic... Like I said in summary, NOT FINISHED. Idk if I will finish it. Let me know if I should!
> 
> I OWN NOTHING BUT THE PLOT, 'KAY? World, characters, etc, belong to our queen, Rainbow Rowell. :)
> 
> I'm so tired... Posting this'll probably be a mistake.

**Baz**

“So… Friends, then?” Snow asks, holding out his hand.

Friends.

_ Friends.  _

Snow wants us to be friends. 

For a millisecond, I let myself think about pinning him to the wall, and tell him, “I want  _ more,  _ Simon,” and then kissing him within an inch of his life. 

I want to. Aleister Crowley, I  _ want  _ to. 

And I could.

I really, really, could. 

But… I shouldn’t.

“Alright, friends,” I say, and I take his hand, and we shake. I try and fail to stop myself from thinking about pulling him in and kissing him soundly on the lips. 

I let my hand drop, but he’s still holding it. I swallow, hard, and his eyes drop to my throat. Then his tongue darts out to lick his lips, and it’s all too much for me. 

He wants to be friends. 

But it’s not enough.

It won’t ever be enough. 

It  _ can’t  _ ever be enough.

_ It will never be enough. _

I yank my hand from his and turn away. “...Baz?” He asks, tentatively. “Are you… Okay?” I sigh.  _ Get it together, Pitch.  _ I turn back to him. “I… I’m sorry, Simon. But I… I can’t be friends with you.” I say it as gently as I can, but Simon steps back, eyes wide. “Why… Why not?” 

I shake my head. “I just  _ can’t _ , okay?” He bites his lip. Crowley, I wish he’d stop doing that. “Baz. That’s not a reason.” “Yes, it is.” 

“No, it’s not.” 

“It’s reason enough.”

“It’s not for me.”

“Snow, it’s literally impossible for me to be friends with you.”

“But  _ why? _ ”

“I don’t have to tell you.”

“But you  _ should _ .”

“And why is that?”

“Because that’s what a decent human being would do, Baz.”

“Ah, but you forget, Snow, I’m not a human being. You tell me that all the time.”

“Why the  _ hell  _ are you being such a  _ prick _ ? I thought we were alright! You even  _ said _ we could be friends!!”

“Yes, well, I was mistaken,” I tell him. Snow tears his hand through his curls. “Jesus  _ Christ,  _ Baz, just  _ tell me  _ why we can’t be friends!!!” He’s shouting, now, and I know I’m close to going to far. “I…” “ _ Baz. _ ”

“Because…” I turn around, crossing my arms. I don’t think I can do this. There’s no way he feels the same. It’s impossible. “Because  _ why,  _ Baz?” He growls, and I can’t take it anymore. 

“Because it’ll never be  _ enough _ !” I snap, spinning around, and it’s  _ my _ turn to shout. “W-what?” He stammers, stepping back. “It won’t be enough, Snow! It’ll never be enough! I can’t be friends with you because I want  _ more  _ than friendship, and if I agree to friends with you I’ll go insane before my next birthday!” 

Simon’s entire face turns red, and all the anger fades from his face. “I… You… You want… More…?” I look away. “Yeah.” “Like…  _ Dating  _ more? Like, kissing and being boyfriends and stuff?” I nod, facing him again. He bites his lip, and  _ I really wish he would stop doing that,  _ because  _ Crowley _ , it’s distracting. 

“So… You… You’re--” “I’m gay, Snow.” He licks his lips, and  _ Aleister fucking Crowley I wish he would just  _ stop.

“Oh. Okay. Um. I-- I don’t-- I mean, I’m not-- That’s cool,” he finishes, still blushing. “And you… You like me. Like, you  _ like  _ me, like me.” “Understatement of the year,” I mutter. Simon cocks his head. “What do you mean?” I snort. “Simon. I’ve been in love with you since we met.” 

His mouth falls open, and I think that was probably a mistake, saying that. But then Simon breathes, “Oh,” and he steps towards me, until we’re so close our noses are almost touching. “Baz…” He whispers, cupping my face with one hand. 

_ And then he kisses me. _

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope this wasn't too bad. Let me know if I should attempt to finish it!


End file.
